Tampon TV

Readers,

This morning, just to prove to you how little I need Arthur, that skulking, brooding judas who recently left to join StudioLimpet, I have coined a brand new phrase to describe the aspirational TV output I am going to make in 2008: Tampon TV.

It's warm, it's emotionally enagaged and intelligent, but it can also be raw and bleeding if I need it to be

(If you don't believe me, just witness the end of my new BBC3 varicose vein removal format for obese teens.....)

I am really confident that I can be the main exponent of this new type of lifestyle television - and have the likes of Ben G eating out of my lilly-white manicured palm. Which reminds me, I simply must make sure I am the first person Ben calls when he's looking for big glossy feelgood factual to fill his schedules next year. A couple of D&Ds (dinner and drinks) at Claridges should do the trick.

Before I go, here's my favourite tampon-inspired poetry by the marvellously talented Julie Hull

Love and Maxipads,

HM xxx