Thursday, 10 January 2008

Why does Meredith not fancy me?

Dear Reader, I have a dilemna that has been hurting me now for months.

How can I convince Meredith that he should be taking my ideas of how to change the world more seriously?

He'd never say it to my face, but I know that he looks down at me: looks down at my credentials as someone who isn't clever or intellectual enough to make the kind of television that he wants. It makes me rather sad (and often quite tearful and weepy).

The thing is after the unexpected hit of Secret Millionaire I need him to buy into my unique brand of transformational factual formats. Or more to the point, I need him to buy into the brand of ME. (I think he still holds my Billionaires-save-Ethopia show against me because Dom Walker snatched it from his grasp back in the bad old days, or is it because him and Marsha have a 'thing' that goes back donkey's years...?)

Whatever (I learned that turn of phrase off my teenage daughter!) Unlike a lot of the others, I've had very little success in making Meredith feel special in my company. He doesn't seem to enjoy flattery or my moves to take him out somewhere intimate for dinner. He never comments on how I've dressed for him, or how I smell. Infact he rarely pays me any kind of compliment in fact at all. He seems emotionally stunted I feel.

I wonder though: surely this can't be me? Therefore it must be him. Therefore perhaps he must be confused sexually, because I have seen very little proof of him showing any manly-like attention towards me. Sure, he has a couple of children....

... but then so does David Bowie.

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